Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
