is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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