we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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