I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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