if you like me you must not know who I am
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
