Do you still have your period?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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