check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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