My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
