A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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