Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
