What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
