Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
