We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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