dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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