Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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