i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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