I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
