Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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