Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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