I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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