He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
