I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
