cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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