just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
