i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Randomize
