worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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