Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
