I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
