watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
