Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
