I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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