apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
