I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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