Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Randomize
