I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
