Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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