There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
