Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
