i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
