I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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