kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
