so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
