If you die in college, do you die in real life?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
