all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
