Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Randomize
