ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
