do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
