I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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