I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
