I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
