So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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