smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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