i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Your shirt... Was in my pants
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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